Starting a new job
Fast food again. This is going to be… interesting
No anger control
Got out of Jenns car while molly was there. They were calling eachother babe and baby the whole time. I got pissed and punched the column of my porch when I got out. Nuckles bruised, cut and bloody. Forgot to take my ring off too. Great. And I think Jenn saw. Texted her and told her it was because I didn’t want to see my mom. Don’t know if she believed me. I need to learn how to control myself
Christmas party tonight
Going to be tons of people in my house. Don’t know how I feel about that… going to be stressful at any rate.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday!
Spent all day baking cookies and smoking with Jenn. I’m glad we can be friends
Cocooning in my comforter. Comforter = comfort, supposedly. So. That should help, no?
Source: lovequotesrus
One of the things that was the problem…
I guess I was too honest.
I told her about my struggles with an ED. I told her about me cutting. She even helped me out when I messed up and cut, she took care of me.
But I guess… she was concerned I was going to be pulling her into a codependant relationship. And she said that it hurt too much to see me like that. She said that I was being selfish.
She said I was amazing and she loves me
Oy. I’m so confused. And still pained.
I wish I wasn’t so fucked up.
Just got off the phone with Jenn
She and molly are exclusive now. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I am so ridiculously hurt and just… everything. I want to cry but I’m too numb for even that. I should have seen this coming. I should have and I didn’t. I let someone in and look where it got me. Pain and suffering as usual. I’m lost. I am so, so lost. She and I are still going to be close friends, I promised her that. And I do NOT break my promises. Never, ever. But this is going to suck. To top it off? She says she does love me. Bullshit. Bull mother fucking shit she does. I need something real.
And I think to myself…what a wonderful world…
i love how many notes this has. this needs awareness
(via hello-hipbones)
Source: isobutane
Here I am.
I have EDNOS, and this is a big part of me. I am also a lesbian. If you have a problem with either of those, well... why are you here? Anyways. I am 5' 10" and in college (age 19) and there's so much more to me than my disorder. But that is what I mainly struggle with
